Drew Launay continues his reflections on life in Spain...

The Elizabethans ate a huge amount, specially Good Queen Bess herself whose visits to her subjects in their stately homes were a dreaded honour because of the appalling cost of feeding her and her entourage.

In 1572 a fraught the Earl of Bedford wrote to Lord Treasurer Burleigh:
“I am now going to prepare for Her Majesty’s coming, which shall be done in the best and most hartiest manner that I can. I trust your Lordship will have remembrance to provide and help that Her Majesty’s tarrying will not be above two nights and a day”
To which Burleigh replied : ‘We all do what we can to persuade Her Majesty from any progress at all !’

For a usual dinner, this is what the cook prepared:
74 Hogsheads of beer. 2 tunnes of ale. I roundlet of sacke containing 20 gallons. 1 hogshead of vinegar. 1 steers and oxen. 66 muttons. 17 veals.7 lambs. 34 pigges. 32 geese. 30 dosen capons. 6 turkies. 32 swannes. 22 dozen mallards. 9 young ducks. 1 crane. 22 bitterns. 19 dozen pigeons. 16 dozen chickens. 8 dozen pewyts. 68 godwyts. 28 plovers. 5 stynts. 12 redshanks. 2 yewhelps. 22 partridges. 1 pheasant. 27 dozen quails. 2 curlewes. 8 dozen rabbits or hares. Stags made into 48 pasties. Bucks made into 128 pasties. 8 gammons of bacon. 24lbs of lard. 21 teats, feet and udders. 430 lbs butter. 2,522 eggs. 4 sturgeons. 4 dozen crayfish. 8 turbots. 1 cartload and 2 horse loads of oysters. 1 barrel anchovies. 2 pykes. 2 carps. 4 tenches. 12 pearches. 400 red herring. 6 Holland cheeses. 10 Marchpanes and more.

Across the Channel in France a hundred and ten years later Louis XIV improved on the menu. It all began when he moved into his new little country house in Versailles.

Twas in the merry month of May 1682. Thirty six thousand men and six thousand horses were working in the gardens and around the house, pulling up the dandelions and polishing up the 375 windows, when it dawned on the Sun King, as he looked around his estate, his palace, his Court, that he hadn’t really done too badly and that he could now concentrate on becoming a perfectionist. So, during his meals, he decided to drink nothing but Champagne. It was still Champagne as the special cork and fizzy wine did not make its appearance till 1685 and it took a few years for a good vintage to be drinkable.

After lunch Louis fed his dogs, went for walks, chatted up his female courtiers, discussed the merits and demerits of a play he might have seen at his private theatre the night before, then sat down for the big meal of the day - dins !
This was invariably an elaborate affair with loads of guests and all the royal family present. The King was always hungry, for he never ate between meals, though he was occasionally seen sucking a cinnamon lozenge.
The first course usually consisted of several soups, meats cut in slices, sausages, salamies and so on. The King often had four soups - Soupe Colbert , named after one of his Ministers - was his favourite because it had an egg floating about in it.

For a second course there was game, ham, smoked tongues, hot pates, salads, and melon.
On offer for the third course were capons, partridges, pheasants, woodcocks, turkeys, wood pigeons, young hares, rabbits, lambs roasted on the spit and served with oranges, lemons and olives.
For the fourth course the company had more birds, larks, ottolans, snipe, and thrushes garnished with sweetbreads.
The fifth course was designed to change the mood of the whole meal and concentrated mainly on fish. Carp, pike, salmon and trout were served in pastry and garnished with crayfish and turtle meat.
This was followed by the sixth course which was made up in two parts, lightly cooked vegetables and fruits served in syrup or sprinkled with sugar, cooked creams and blancmanges.
The seventh course consisted of pastries and puds, the eighth and final course, of crystallised fruits, fennel in sugar, pastilles and sugared almonds.
The whole naturally went down with white wines and red wines galore and ended with a few bottles of cognac and liqueurs.
After that everyone got up and danced, played games or withdrew to the various ante-rooms to gossip or be sick until the King decided to go to bed.

After a year or two the King got a little bored with these meals so his chefs searched around for new tastes to make him happy. Perfumed foods became the rage, orris root and rose water were freely sprinkled on meats, pastries and pies, walnuts were flavoured with musk, cream whipped up with ambergris and eggs bathed in bergamot.
Spices from India tempted a few, but to many people in those days they were considered evil, sinister and full of Eastern black magic till the more intelligent pointed out that most curries were in fact edible medicine chests and very good for you.

Aniseed promotes appetite and has properties which act against coughs and sneezes. Cardamom is a purgative. Cinnamon is an extremely powerful germicide. Coriander an antiseptic. Ginger is an aphrodisiac. Mustard contains manganese, nickel, and cobalt which should put you on your metal. Nutmeg is a cure for hepatic colic and Nutmeg Tea cures insomnia. Pepper is an antidote to fever, making you perspire freely. Poppy seeds send you into a seventh heaven, and Turmeric will give you a softer skin than any washing up liquid.
Which brings us to Garlic which not only wards of all sorts of diseases and vampires, but was the basis of all staple diets in Spain throughout the centuries.

The Spaniards have never eaten that well. The tradition of luxurious dishes never really crossed the Pyrenees. Quantity rather than quality is the norm and the inability to be punctual is one of the reasons why the paella is the national dish. Rice and the ancient recipes dating back to the occupation by the Moors have nothing to do with it. The paella is a Godsend to Spain for the ingredients can be prepared well in advance and be put aside till the guests arrive, then cooked for the essential twenty minutes. The mixture of fried chicken, boiled fish, damp squid, uncooked prawns, tomatoes, peas, red peppers, green peppers, old boot laces, saffron, rice and garlic guarantees that no one can possibly know what it is supposed to taste like, so if it is undercooked or overcooked no one will complain.

In 1854 the English travel writer John Ford wrote ‘To be a good cook, which few Spaniards are, a man must not only understand his master’s taste but make something out of nothing.’ And about garlic, which dominated all dishes he said ‘ Garlic is apparently essential, the very name is enough to give offence to most English. The evil, however consists in the abuse not the use. Since it is considered to be fragrant, palatable, stomachic and invigorating, we must assume that it is suited by nature to local tastes and constitutions. It is curious to see to what extent the Spanish peasant consume garlic, and I caution the traveller against the captivating name of Valencian butter which has nothing to do with the cow but made up of an equal portion of garlic and hogs lard pounded together in a mortar then spread on bread just as we do arsenic to destroy vermin.’

While Elizabeth I and Louis XIV were hogging the above mentioned dinners, Felipe I and II did not complain when, according to Cervantes, they were served the following recipes which you may try out on any guests arriving from the North during the festivities if they are interested in tasting the real, but less exciting, Spain.

The Olla.
Fill a pot with water and add chick peas, which have been soaked overnight. A good piece of beef, a chicken, a large piece of bacon, let that boil once, then simmer for four hours. In another pot of water, add lettuces, cabbage, carrots, beet, beans, celery, endives, onions and garlic. Long green peppers , a chorizo sausage, half a salted pigs face, which should have been soaked overnight. . Boil, constantly skin the scum off, strain and serve on a large dish, laying the vegetables down first and the meats atop.
This, according to Don Quixote was eaten by canons and presidents with relish.

Brains.
Take brains, either sheep or calf, wash them well removing all blood and fibres. Soak them in water then place them for an hour in a pickle of wine, vinegar, onions, bay leaf, thyme, parsley, olive oil, salt and garlic. Dry them with a cloth, powder them with flour, then fry them in oil with more garlic.

Stewed Hare.
First catch the animal then kill it. Cut it up, save the blood, the liver, and the giblets. Do not wash the pieces but dry them with a cloth. Fry them with garlic in olive oil till brown. Put them in a pot, with equal parts of wine and water, a bit of bacon, onions, garlic, salt, pepper pimientos. and a bunch of thyme. Simmer for two hours then, half an hour before serving,add the giblets, The stew should be constantly stirred with a wooden spoon.

And more from John Ford :
‘The Spanish peasants, who are sad poachers, will constantly hail travellers and offer partridges, hares and melons.
Like the Orientals, they eat vast quantities and are very fond of insipid fruit, the water melon, the prickly pear, the pomegranate, and custard apple.’
But, they ate somewhat more healthily than we do these days.
The rot set in when the gas cooker was invented followed by the electric oven, the refrigerator and freezer which has made everyone lazy and complacent about cooking.

Now we have reached the stage when we can convince ourselves that adulterated, bleached, chemically sprayed, dehydrated, dyed, iodised, pasteurised, refined, sulphured, synthetic foods are good for us, and that the less time we spend eating and the more time we spend watching the telly the better.
But it is understandable. After all cook’s gone, under cook’s gone, skivvy’s gone and it’s all up to Mum or House-husband.
The glass heatproof dish is set between the lighted candles, the mush in the middle of the lettuce stares up at us in glorious technicolour and the host or hostess sweetly say ‘ It’s just a little recipe by Jennifer Casserole which I found last week when at the dentist.’
It tastes terrible. But who complains ?
The recipe was printed in a reputable magazine, the fact that it said beans and not frozen beans and mayonnaise and not processed eggs whipped up in a centrifugal machine finely tuned by an aerodynamics expert who recently lost his job building Boeings, is irrelevant. Mum used the ingredients she had in the freezer, she’s been eating them for years and is still alive, so why question the palate.?
‘Whar’s for supper ?’
‘Spaghetti hoops, fish fingers and strawberry mousse. ‘
’Cool ! ‘