Holiday Clubs by Ivor Ouikoff

Are you being targeted?

During a shopping trip would you feel a bit wary when if complete stranger approached you and asked “enjoying your shopping?”

Most people would instinctively know that this person wanted you to buy something you don’t want or need, participate in another useless survey or donate to some obscure charity such as the “my beer fund is running low association”. Meanwhile you proffer a thank you to your chosen divinity that at least you have not been reduced to street touting for a living and proceed to ignore them completely or invent a polite fib to brush them off.

Then you come to Spain to get away from such pests for a while and before you know it some African, thrusts a highly polished wooden giraffe under your nose as you sit in your favorite bar. Sometimes he might flash a wry smile first to break the ice a bit but he makes no pretence in getting straight to the point “cheap price”, which enviously he can do fluently in six languages. Some customers pretend to have a quick looky looky and maybe enjoy a bit of a game by bargaining the price down about nine hundred percent. But if you don’t buy it doesn’t matter he is gone in a matter of minutes and you don’t feel too irritated by his interruption.

However, what might surprise you as you leave your bar is being approached by a complete stranger who is obviously not from anywhere near Africa and who enquires in perfect English. “Enjoying your holiday?” or “are you having a nice stay?” Ones first reaction is not as it probably would be back home “What the four X do they want?” but “how on earth do they know I speak English?” Why don’t they say “guten morgen” or “buenos dias?”
It is not difficult to identify a Brit in Spain. Other than the obvious football shirts, an experienced spotter can pick a Pom from any other nationality in about two seconds flat, it has almost become an expat leisure activity.
After the initial greeting a few more questions might ensue such as “Staying long? Celebrating your anniversary? Isn’t that a Yorkshire accent? How long have you been together then? What do you do then?” The enquiries seem innocuous so you don’t realize that within about three minutes they have you sussed as a potential customer or not. Who are they? What on earth do they want? Well just as strangers who accost you in the street back home want something from you so do these guys or girls. It takes awhile to work out what they want but actually they are Discount Holiday Club Touts and they want to take you to a presentation.

The Holiday Club

They used to be known as Timeshare Touts but since the introduction of new consumer protection laws in Spain it has become almost impossible to sell anything involving the word “Timeshare”. The new obligatory cooling off period makes most people eventually see sense and withdraw from the contract. This puts the 300,000 or so Timeshare Owners in Spain in a quandary. No one wants to buy their week as it has no investment value but they clearly don’t want to let their investment sit there doing nothing. They either have to use the week themselves or rent it to someone else. They are hardly going to club together themselves to form a marketing campaign. So they put their timeshare week or two into a new breed of marketing operation called a Holiday Club.

The Target

The touts, the most successful are those that look like your granny, are trained to target reasonably mature childless couples who appear to be in a long term relationship and both in work. The upper age limit is about retirement age. It is their job to engage you in conversation and as quickly as possible establish if you meet these criteria, hence the friendly face and quick fire questions.

You’ve won a holiday!

If you do not fit their bill they will move you on with a polite dismissal. However, if you do seem to be ripe for the picking they will whip out a wedge of scratch cards faster than Paul Daniels and invite you to try and win a free holiday. So you discover much to your delight that you have won a free one. Now isn’t that amazing. However, try not to be too cock a hoop so does everyone, its how their sales system works.
Now the real sales pitch begins. In order to organize your free holiday you are invited to attend a presentation that will explain how it all works. It won’t take long they assure you and if you don’t have a car they will take you there and bring you back. If you show even a little reticence they will quickly attempt to assuage your concerns with “no it’s not time share” and “we don’t want to sell you anything”.
Amazingly as many as one couple in ten approached actually agree to attend. The promise of something for nothing is irresistible to some. If you stay at the presentation for as long as ninety minutes the tout who brought you can earn from sixty to two hundred euros even if you don’t buy anything. So they can be liberal with the truth in order to persuade you to attend. To encourage as many attendees as possible some touts may even offer to split their commission with you and before taking you to the presentation explain in full what a Holiday Club is all about and how not to buy anything.
Loyalty is not a tout’s primary motivation and in order to attempt to make them stick to the rules the management can call in the “Clumpers” and you wouldn’t want to bump into them on a dark night.

A shot in the dark

On arrival you will be ushered into a quasi conference room and be seated at a small table and be introduced to the next person in the well established sales process. They are known as “liners”. It is their job to build on the initial work of the tout and to become your friend. They will not appear to try and sell you anything initially but again using questions they will build a profile of you so that later they can fit their membership category to your preferences.
You will be shown their glossy catalogue which contains resorts from all over the world and be asked to choose where you might like to take your free holiday. No it isn’t a fantasy there is actually a free vacation in the offing. It’s the taking of it that is the hard part and no you cannot take the brochure away and think about it.
You have to declare in writing three or four weeks during the forthcoming year when you might be available to take it. Very few folks actually know exactly when they can go on holiday so the last couple of your preferred weeks are normally a shot in the dark. Inevitably they will phone you with your free holiday offer probably just before your fourth choice of week and don’t be surprised if it may require some sort of upgrade. Most people cannot change their schedule at such short notice so as the offer expires at the end of the year in most instances you have lost your chance to collect your prize. However, you are not there to discuss a free holiday that was just a ruse to get you to their presentation.

Closing the deal

Meanwhile while the liner warms you up and relaxes you with further highlights of their club and maybe even a tour of their development. You may have seen some other people hovering in the background, eventually one of them will join you when the liner thinks that you are suitably primed for the more aggressive part of the presentation. When this third person arrives the nice friendly atmosphere tightens up a bit because the role of this third person is to actually sell you a life or at least a ten year membership of their discount holiday club. This new arrival is known as “the closer” and they are relentless.
They will begin with a restatement of your understanding of how their discount holiday club works and get you nodding with agreement at a series of small points. Something along the lines of…

“Taking a holiday can be such a lottery you are never sure till you get there that is the right place for you. All our resorts that you have seen in our catalogue are clean and luxurious and in outstanding and tranquil locations. We guarantee it. You can choose from any location and swap weeks as often as you like.
You agree I am sure that it is a very comforting way to choose your holiday. Now today we will make you an offer you will find difficult to refuse. You can buy one week in our discount holiday club at a special price that is only available to you personally today. For this price you can have one week of free accommodation in any of our resorts every year for the rest of your life (or ten years) isn’t that fantastic?”

Your first question will be how much? But before they tell you the price they will seek to win some points from you. Such as…

“Do you like the idea of our club? If the price was right would you be happy to sign up and pay a deposit today. Would you be able to pay that today by credit card?”

In a recent article by Which Magazine one couple were reported as being quoted a ten year membership deal in Spain for a princely sum of 4,995 pounds. Tthey paid a deposit on their debit card of 1,800 pounds and went back to their hotel to continue their holiday. Needless to say after returning home they heard a lot of negative things about holiday clubs and are still trying to get out of the contract and get their deposit back.

Don’t be bullied

If you don’t like the price or you have no intention to buy you should make a serious and determined effort to escape.
This is when the fun starts. The closer will now start to crank up the pressure.

“Why isn’t it for you, what don’t you like about it?”

Suddenly you find your self justifying why you should keep your hard earned cash. No matter what objection you proffer they will have a logical and well thought out answer. They may even become abusive by accusing you of not being able to afford a membership almost blackmailing you to prove them wrong by buying. They won’t offer to take you back until they are absolutely certain that you cannot be bullied into saying yes. Sometimes to escape without parting with any folding you may have to forget being taken back and organize a taxi to come and fetch you. Just get up and leave is the best solution.

An illegal business

It is illegal to tout for business on the street in Spain except by special license and with staff identifiable by uniforms. Most of the touts are working here illegally and are not registered with the Spanish social security.

To quote Which magazine“…

Most discount holiday clubs are a waste of money. Even if you are lucky enough to get some of the holidays promised, you could probably have booked them more cheaply from traditional brochures. We’ve called on the European Parliament to extend the Timeshare Directive to cover holiday clubs and we will continue to campaign for this. Until this happens if you are offered a scratch card, say no and walk away. Buy a lottery ticket instead- you’ve got a greater chance of hitting the jackpot”